haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
