This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
