in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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