just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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