too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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