I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize
