I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
BRING THE BAGELS
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
