whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
