Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
too bad you live with your parents still
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
