i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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