i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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