It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
