kristin has been a bad kristin
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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