Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
