he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
