It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
