Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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