I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
