i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just invented taco cereal.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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