so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
do herpes really smell.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize