I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
