Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize