He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
