Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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