break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
