I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
