Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
