Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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