why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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