ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
