did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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