its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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