I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
