my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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