all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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