Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
