I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Randomize
