My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
