he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
