I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
