The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm too high and old for this...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
