Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize