I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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