My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
