if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize