i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
