Please, let me fuck your mom
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
