And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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