i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize