i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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