I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
