So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
