i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
