Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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