that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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