this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Drake has all the answers
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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