lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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