whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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